I Am Looking For Truth

In the journey which with reality, mankind could be transcended with surreality, maybe. However, I supposed that can't be more than that being disease.

The reality mustn't be changed in any way; such as who you are, where you are, what you are doing so easy. If you want to force your part of existence to different "reality" dimension, probably your brain starts playing against your brain. If you want to believe that your mind can't agree, you can't complain about this topic when you are lost in your brain. You can't say: "Yes it is". It might be played repeatedly.

In this dimension, you face against that you can manage this world, you can divide yourself from religious, rituals than you can say only: "The god is one", "Allah'tan baska ilah yoktur", "La ilahe illallah", "Hear O Israel, The Lord our G-d, the Lord is One" and so on. So, you might be an unbeliever in yourself. If you want to serve the truth to the world and think that serving must be done with some organisation which is bigger than me, you are not alone, you are with the whole world. It is normal that having a scare or suspicious but "If you want to learn what is possibilities in existence, listen to me as well, then let's look at thing together what will happen."; you can shout to the whole world, like that, it is right of you. Trust! Not everyone, not everything, firstly trust yourself. Trust your system. Trust the system, because every possibility goes to some place. If there is a thing in this life, there is. Then, if you want to do something, if you're going to touch at least a thing in this life, you must keep on. You must keep on to ask questions. You must keep on, sometimes, without caring for yourself, (For me, it is every time, it is up to you) without a scare, without being bothered for being unable to breathe out.

These are not a joke, you know me, a little bit... Ok, you know me really my lovely friends. I am mad. However, I am crazy to myself. I am insane because of patience, I think. How many people did I know who play chess against themselves? I see a lot of people, in fact, but I hadn't known anyone, who doesn't care about his sexual passion, money, property or possessions if these are a barrier against his values, logic, existential meanings, who can avoid everything without being anxious. Humans may be deceived, a religious person may be misled, everyone may be deceived, but everyone tries to fool themselves as well, with movies, series, books, magazines, with everything...

The first question: How much attention do you pay to understand context rather than the main idea in your life?

It had not been found that anyone who can reply the why questions; had not seen that anyone who tries to become “nothing” for not being religious, only to live with the whole universal system except you so far.

It is not said that “2+2=5.” It could be said that if it is true that 2+2=5, could it said that 3+2=5? If it is really what is 4+1? This type of brain actually means that asking these type of questions continuously. Whereas, it is clear; if 2+2=5 there is no reality. The phase where it is possible to say 2+2=5, all another thing can change, and one who tries to keep on to do anything in the world should answer the main problem of its brain. Someone focus on 5 number, someone concentrate 2, someone stuck on addition symbol.

Meanwhile, one who intends to reach the truth, who knows his nothing of the existence, who knows we all a grain in the hole, rather than knowing, whose brain tends to create the new world, asks origin question and say; what is the number? Where these letters which form the number word `n-u-m-b-e-r` come from? If these letters can change among countries, how these letters created? If there is a `number` concept, how societies which formed these words occurred? At that point, mankind has a chance to divide humanity with numbers and words. 

If we only tend to describe mankind with numbers, or words, it will be unrespectful tendency another one, and it will become a vicious cycle. Because we came here from fault, those were “2+2=5”, “number”, “society”, “mankind”. However, when we try to understand society, we have to concentrate individuality. At that point, we, as humankind, have an initial confusion that is “Religion”.

I aware, I made you confused a lot. But I give up to be “me” a long time ago. When I try to find answers for these questions, I couldn’t put any subject to my thoughts. If it is put, I may fool myself again and again, because whoever or whatever you are, you are one type of error in this code. So, learning the truth takes a lot of time, life, everything. So, firstly I should realise that I don’t do anything in my life, I am not worthy in any context, I just eat, drink, shit and sleep as if an animal; so as I must carry my adjective “human”. Being human firstly coming through understanding that you are not unique. We all should live carrying on every time, with choosing the best options in our hands. Without time, place, independently. (Don’t forget that I don’t share my thoughts, I share my process so, evaluate it, my lovely friends.) 

If you don’t know anything, you are not responsible. “Arrogance is a virtue.” If you know you are arrogant. But if you see anything in your life, if you know anything in your life, if you heard something… There is no way out, you try to do something to feeling peace, for you apology for yourself and others. Otherwise, you will face against your existence with significant contradiction. 

Second Question: How can you feel good doing nothing, when you complain about everything?

If you are honest to do not being able to do anything, you can pray whatever you believe, you can support some organisation, e.g. to try to be a piece of the paradoxical divine. But you can’t read for that, you can’t work for it, you can’t. You can do it for everything, everyone, every moment. It is not talent that looking the whole world, it is talent that hunting down a moment as far as you can. What can you do at the moment to find the truth? Serving… For example, you can serve to you caring service. You can provide a beautiful woman, a handsome man to the world. You can offer a healthy person.

You are born again with saying “The god is one” in my opinion. Only your name remains with you. Even though, it is not necessary. Just for bureaucracy. It is the name of reaching the truth. It is following behind the reality. It is writing until an ink ends up. It is to be clean to write very clean as well. I don’t know. I can’t know “at the moment”, I can only say that you can’t escape from “suspicious.”. I think we shouldn’t try to escape from being sceptic. Every time we must go to face our suspicious again and again until our last breath will be consumed.  If you have a barrier in your life, you must leave it whatever it is. Because the truth doesn’t have the last point. If you try to carry a lot of barrier with you, it can be so hard to keep on. Otherwise, you can’t reach anything in your life because if you feel something like a wall, and if you don’t leave it out your feeling and logic can’t find any middle way to walk again.

We should concentrate our values, our things which are ordered by us. For example, Kur-an. I think one holy book can’t be for memorising without knowing any meaning. Maybe you can say, it is Arabic for Muslim countries to speak a mutual language, I can understand it. For societies, states are able to communicate with each other, I can understand that. But memorising without meaning… 

My starting progress point at that, my lovely friends. We are improving the new language today. It is called English. Whoever starts to learn this language, begin to see the world. I am still beginning of the way. It will take a long time to learn my questions, but with “service”, you can work for the world. You can do a lot of things. Without stopping. But I have a bet as well. I have a dream. And I just want to explain myself. To summarise it; “We can live together.” As the whole world, with only one question, without pain; “I am looking for truth, did you see it ?”

Tommy had a wonderful childhood. Because he loved it. Being with friends, families, school, classes, lessons… It is absolutely logical. But as I said, it was his childhood. When we come here to understand Tomy, it is tough to explain it. Because he said that “I am nothing.”

Once upon a time, Tomy was a teenager. He moved to Istanbul from Rize with his family. It was a pleasure to him indeed. He just wanted to learn new thing in his life. However, he couldn’t. When he arrived in Istanbul, he realised that Tomy had lost every motivation in his life. Friends, school, being a football player, being successful in his life. Also, his family wanted to register him in a single-sex school. He was just 14 years old. He just wanted to find some good thing in his life. He tried to canalise these emotions to some good stuff such as religion. It was so good indeed. Because he was feeling weak; time, place, life, humanity, the universe he was trying to understand. In the school, near his friends, on the street, in the café, on some occasion, everywhere, he was started to look as if he is mad. As if, the whole world was trying to fight with him and started to create a new reality. Like artificial intelligence, could be managed, improved. There are several type of person occurred, and he was given independence key with many mutual investigator. At that point, one doesn’t know what should do. The error will be arrogance and the God said it since beginning of the life. From everywhere, from every perspective, from every individual… Maybe a lot of people think differently, maybe including one own family, make you feel harshness for some project. But it is not important if there is a result. Doesn’t matter. “Aripiprazole” is name of my medication which can taken apart from my life. The whole world look at you maybe like you look at the whole world.

“I need to learn the truth.”

“If you are a human, and if you want me to know truth, show it. Because I’m also human.”

Because he was trying to be alive. -Written in 2019, edited in 2026.